All day today I was fighting against the assumption that I do not speak Gujarati. In a store a clerk asked my friend for my name and even though I replied in Gujarati he didn't listen and kept looking at my friend. When I asked a rickshaw driver to take me to a particular place he refused and complained to someone that since I could not speak Gujarati he would not be able to communicate with me. I told him in Gujarati that I do speak and he would not hear me. I asked, "Bhayaa mané Gujarati aavre ché to problem shu ché? (Brother, I know Gujarati so what is the problem?). Again he said no and again I repeated the question. Finally he said "barabar" (fine) and we were off. On the road we talked for a while and he insisted on speaking very slowly and I insisted on mocking him and also speaking very slowly, but eventually we were both doing it in good humor. On the way home I said a word or two and the driver looked at me in the rear view mirror and said, "Gujarati aavré ché?" (do you know Gujarati?) and I said, "haa bhai" and we had a nice conversation. When I reached campus I passed a big group of young boys that work in the canteen and they started saying in Hindi, "here comes the english girl" and I almost turned to them and said, "careful mané Gujarati aavré ché ané Hindi bhi aati hai" (careful, I know Gujarati (in Gujarati) and I know Hindi (in Hindi)) but I don't think it is really worth it since they have gotten in the habit of teasing me and saying things in a way I don't understand. Probably they would just tease me more. I try not to get so upset with them, after all they all work seven days a week, don't ever get to go off campus as far as I can tell, and they are just kids. I completely understand that most foreigners these people may have met do not know Hindi and certainly don't know Gujarati, but it's sad to face the same barrier in communication all the time.

There are so many cool things about being here. I learn so much everyday. At the same time I would give just about anything to be able to shop for and cook my own food. I'm also dreaming of the day when I can once again feel anonymous, normal. I look forward to eating meat and drinking wine and wearing a tank top without feeling like I am perpetuating the very strong stereotype of western women as 'loose'. I have been going to a women's film festival the past few nights and that has been really refreshing. I have enjoyed the discussions after the films immensely. But this type of thing is few and far between. It's taken me a while to realize how the extremely conservative nature of this city has impacted me. I am shocked when I see a real kiss in a bollywood film, I almost never leave campus without a dupatta (a very large scarf, worn in such a way that it hides women's curves). While I still get frustrated that men never let me go ahead even when it is my turn, and sometimes they even push me aside, and I don't think anyone would give up a seat on the bus for me, I have come to expect these things, and even to accept them. I look forward to returning to my own way of life, and once again getting to be who I am all the time.